Lihaaf

Ismat Chugtai

Jab main jaaṛon mein lihaaf oṛtee hun, to paas ki deewaaron par us ki parachhaain haathee ki tarah jhumtee hui maalum hotee hai, aur ek dam se meraa dimaagh bitii hui duniyaa ke pardon mein dauṛne bhaagne lagtaa hai. Na jaane kyaa kuchh yaad ane lagta hai. 

Maaf kijiegaa, main aap ko k͟hud apne lihaaf ka rumaana-angez zikr bataane nahin jaa rahi hun. Na lihaaf se kisee qism ka rumaan joṛaa hi jaa saktaa hai. Mere khayaal mein kambal kam araam deh sahi, magar us ki parachhaain itni bhayaanak nahin hotee jitnee jab lihaaf ki parachhaain deewaar par dagmagaa rahi ho. 

Ye tab ka zikr hai jab main chhoti si thi aur din bhar bhaaiyon aur un ke doston ke saath maar kuṭaai mein guzaar diyaa kartee thi. Kabhi-kabhi mujhe khayaal ataa ki main kamabak͟ht itni laṛaakaa kyun hun. Us umr mein jab ki meree aur behnen ashiq jamaa kar rahi theen, main apne paraaye har laṛke aur laṛkee se jutam paizaar mein mashġul thi. 

Yehi wajah thi ki ammaa jab Agra jaane lagin, to hafte bhar ke liye mujhe apni munh bolee behan ke paas chhoṛ gain. Un ke yahaan ammaa k͟hub jaantee thi ke chuhe ka bachaa bhi nahin, aur main kisee se laṛ bhiṛ na sakungi. Sazaa to k͟hub thi! Haan to ammaa mujhe Begum Jaan ke paas chhoṛ gain. Wahi Begum Jaan jin kaa lihaaf ab tak mere zehin mein garm lohe ke daag ki tarah mahfuz hai. Ye Begum Jaan theen jin ke ghareeb maan-baap ne nawaab sahib ko isilie daamaad banaa liyaa ki wo pakkee umr ke the. Magar the nihaayat nek. Koi randee, baazaaree aurat un ke yahaan nazar nahin ai. K͟hud haaji the aur bahuton ko haj karaa chuke the. Magar unhen ek ajeeba-o-ghareeb shauq thaa. Logon ko kabutar paalne ka shauq hotaa hai, batere laṛaate hain, murghbaazai karte hain. Is qism ke waahiyaat khelon se nawaab sahib ko nafrat thi. Un ke yahaan to bas taaliba-e-ilm rahte the. Naujawaan gore-gore patlee kamaron ke laṛke, jinkaa k͟harch wo k͟hud bardaasht karte the. 

Magar Begum Jaan se shaadee kar ke to wo unhen kul saaz-o-saamaan ke saath hi ghar mein rakh kar bhul gae, aur wo bechaaree dublee patlee naazuk si begum tanhaai ke gham mein ghulne lagi. 

Na jaane un ki zindagi kahaan se shuru hoti hai. Wahaan se, jab wo paidaa hone ki ghaltee kar chukee thi, ya wahaan se jab wo ek nawaab begum ban kar ain aur chhapar-khat par zindagi guzaarane lagin. Ya jab se nawaab sahib ke yahaan laṛkon ka zor bundhaa. Un ke liye murghan halwe aur lazeez khaane jaane lage aur Begum Jaan diwaan-k͟haane ke daraaron mein se un lachaktee kamron waale laṛkon ki chust pindliyaan aur moattar baareek shabnam ke kurte dekh-dekh kar angaaron par lautne lagin. 

Ya jab se, jab wo minnaton muraadon se haar gain, chille bandhe aur totke aur raaton ki wazifaa khwani bhi chitt ho gai. Kahin patthar mein jonk lagtee hai? Nawaab sahib apni jagah se tas se mas na hue. Phir Begum Jaan ka dil ṭuṭ gayaa, aur wo ilm ki taraf mutawajjaa huin, lekin yahaan bhi unhen kuchh na milaa. Ishqiyaa novel aur jazbaatee ashaar paṛ kar aur bhi pastee chhaa gai. Raat ki nind bhi haath se gai aur Begum Jaan ji jaan chhoṛ kar bilkul hi yaas-o-hasrat ki pot ban gain. 

Chulhe mein daalaa aisaa kapṛaa lattaa. Kapṛaa pehnaa jaataa hai, kisee par rob gaanthane ke liye. Ab na to nawaab sahib ko fursat ki shabanamee karatuton ko chhoṛ kar zaraa idhar tawajjo karen, aur na wo unhen ane jaane dete. Jab se Begum Jaan byaah kar ai theen rishtedaar aa kar mahinon rahte aur chale jaate. Magar wo bichaari qaid ki qaid rehteen. 

Un rishtedaaron ko dekh kar aur bhi un ka k͟hun jaltaa thaa ki sab ke sab maze se maal uṛaane, umdaa ghee nigalane, jaaṛon ka saaz-o-saamaan banwaane aan marte aur baawajud nai rui ke lihaaf ke baṛee sardee mein akṛaa karateen. Har karawaṭ par lihaaf nai-nai suraten banaa kar deewaar par saayaa daaltaa. Magar koi bhi saayaa aisaa na thaa jo unhen zindaa rakhne ke liye kaafee ho. Magar kyun jiye phir koi, zindagi! Begum jaan ki zindagi jo thi, jeenaa bidaa thaa naseebon mein, wo phir jeene lagin aur k͟hub jiin. 

Rabbo ne unhen niche girte-girte sambhaal liyaa. Chup-put dekhte-dekhte un ka sukhaa jism haraa honaa shuru hua. Gaal chamak uthe aur husn phut niklaa. Ek ajeeb-o-ghareeb tel ki maalish se Begum Jaan mein zindagi ki jhalak ai. Maaf keejie, us tel ka nusk͟haa ap ko behtareen se behtareen risaale mein bhi na milegaa. 

Jab main ne Begum Jaan ko dekhaa, to wo chaalees-bayaalis ki hongi. Uf, kis shaan se wo masnad par nim daraaz theen, aur Rabbo un ki peeth se lagi kamar dabaa rahi thi. Ek ude rang ka doshaalaa un ke pairon par padaa thaa aur wo mahaaraaniyon ki tarah shaanadaar maalum ho rahi theen. Mujhe un ki shakl be-intehaa pasand thi. Meraa ji chaahtaa thaa ki ghuṅton bilkul paas se un ki surat dekhaa karun. Un ki rangat bilkul safed thi. Naam ko surk͟hee ka zikr nahin aur baal siyaah aur tel mein dube rehte the. Mainne aaj tak un ki maang hi bigṛee na dekhee. Majaal hai jo ek baal idhar udhar ho jaae. Un ki ankhen kaalee theen aur abru par ke zaaid baal alaihdaa kar dene se kamaanen see khichee rahtee theen. Ankhen zaraa tani hui rahtee theen. Bhaaree-bhaaree phule papote moṭi-moṭi ankhen. Sab se jo un ke chehre par hairat angez jaazabiyyat nazar cheez thi, wo un ke honṭ the. Umuman wo surk͟hee se range rahte the. Upar ke honton par halkee halkee munchhen si theen aur kanpatiyon par lumbe-lumbe baal kabhi-kabhi un ka chehraa dekhte-dekhte ajeeb saa lagne lagataa thaa. Kam umr laṛkon jaisaa.  

Un ke jism ki jild bhi safed aur chikni thi. Maalum hotaa thaa, kisi ne kas kar taanke lagaa die hon. Umuman wo apni pindliyaan khujaane ke liye kholteen, to main chupke-chupke un ki chamak dekhaa kartee. Un ka qad bahut lumbaa thaa aur phir gosht hone ki wajah se wo bahut hi lumbee-chauṛee maalum hotee theen, lekin bahut mutanaasib aur dhalaa hua jism thaa. Baṛe-baṛe chikne aur safed haath aur sudaul kamar, to Rabbo un ki peeth khujaayaa kartee thi. Yaani ghenton un ki peeth khujaatee. Peeth khujawaanaa bhi zindagi ki zaruriyaat mein se thaa, balke shaayad zarurat-e-zindagi se bhi ziyadaa. 

Rabbo ko ghar ka aur koi kaam na thaa. Bas wo saare waqt un ke chappar khat par chari kabhi pair, kabhi sar aur kabhi jism ke dusre hisse ko dabaayaa kartee thi. Kabhi to meraa dil haul uthtaa thaa jab dekho Rabbo kuchh na kuchh dabaa rahi hai, ya maalish kar rahi hai. Koi dusraa hotaa to na jaane kyaa hotaa. Main apnaa kahtee hun, koi itnaa chhue bhi to meraa jism saṛ-gal ke khatm ho jaae. 

Aur phir ye roza-roz ki maalish kaafee nahin thi. Jis roz Begum Jaan nahaateen. Ya Allah bas do gheṅta pehle se tel aur k͟hushbudaar ubatnon ki maalish shuru ho jaatee aur itni hotee ki meraa to tak͟hayyul se hi dil ṭuṭ jaata. Kamre ke darwaaze band kar ke angithiyaan sulagteen aur chaltaa maalish ka daur aur umuman sirf Rabbo hi rahtee. Baaqi ki naukaraaniyaan baṛbaṛaatee darawaaze par se hi zarurat ki cheezen detee jaateen. 

Baat ye bhi thi ki Begum Jaan ko khujlee ka marz thaa. Bechaaree ko aisee khujlee hotee thi aur hazaaron tel aur ubatan male jaate the, magar khujlee thi ki qayam. Doctor hakeem kahte “Kuchh bhi nahin. Jism saaf chat paraa hai. Haan koi jild ki andar beemaaree ho to k͟hair.” Nahin bhai ye daaktar to mue hain paagal. Koi apke dushmanon ko marz hai. Allah rakhe, k͟hun mein garmee hai. Rabbo muskuraa kar kahtee aur mahina-mahin nazaron se Begum Jaan ko ghurtee. Oh ye Rabbo. . . jitni ye Begum Jaan goree theen, utni hi ye kaalee thi. Jitni ye Begum Jaan safed theen, utni hi ye surkh. Bas jaise tapaa hua lohaa. Halke halke chechak ke daagh. Gathaa hua thos jism. 

Phurteele chote-chote haath, kasee hui chhoti see tond. Baṛe baṛe phule hue hont, jo hamesha namee mein dube rahte, aur jism mein ajeeb ghabraane waalee bu ke sharaare nikalate rahte the, aur ye nathune the phule hue, haath kis qadar phurteele the, abhi kamar par, to wo leejie phisal kar gae kulhon par, wahaan rapate raanon par aur phir dauṛ takhnon ki taraf. Main to jab bhi Begum Jaan ke paas baithtee yahi dekhtee ki ab us ke haath kahaan hain aur kyaa kar rahe hain. 

Garmee-jaaṛe Begum Jaan hyderabadi jaalee kaarge ke kurte pahanteen. Gehre rang ke paajaame aur safed jhaag se kurte aur pankhaa bhi chaltaa ho. Phir bhi wo halkee dulaai zarur jism par dhake rahtee theen. Unhen jaaṛaa bahut pasand thaa. Jaaṛe mein mujhe un ke yahaan achchhaa maalum hotaa. Wo hiltee-jultee bahut kam theen. Qaaleen par leti hain. Peeth khujaa rahi hai. K͟hushk mewe chabaa rahi hain aur bas. Rabbo se dusaree saaree naukaraaniyaan k͟haar khaatee theen. Chuṛail Begum Jaan ke saath khaatee, saath uth tee-baithatee aur mashallah saath hi sotee thi. Rabbo aur Begum Jaan am jalson aur majamuon ki dilchasp guftagu ka mauzu theen. Jahaan un donon ka zikr ayaa aur qahqahe uthe. Ye log na jaane kyaa-kyaa chatake ghareeb par uṛaate. Magar wo duniyaa mein kisee se miltee na theen. Wahaan to bas wo theen aur un ki khujlee. 

Mainne kahaa ke us waqt main kaafee chhoti thi aur Begum Jaan par fidaa. Wo mujhe bahut hi pyaar kartee theen. Ittifaq se ammaa Agra gain. Unhen maalum thaa ki akele ghar mein bhaaiyon se maar kataai hogi. Maaree-maaree phirungi. Islie wo hafte bhar ke liye Begum Jaan ke paas chhoṛ gain. Main bhi k͟hush aur Begum Jaan bhi k͟hush. Ak͟hir ko ammaa ki bhaabhi bani hui theen. 

Sawaal ye uthaa ki main soun kahaan? Qudratee taur par Begum Jaan ke kamre mein. Lihaazaa mere liye bhi un ke chhappar khat se lagaa kar chhoti si palungṛee daal dee gai. Gyaarah baje tak to baaten karte rahe, main aur Begum Jaan taash khelte rahe, aur phir main sone ke liye apne palang par chalee gai. Aur jab main soi to Rabbo waisee hi baithi un ki peeth khujaa rahi thi. “Bhangan kahin ki. . . ” mainne sochaa. Raat ko meree ek dam se ankh khulee to mujhe ajeeb tarah ka dar lagne lagaa. Kamre mein ghup andheraa aur us andhere mein Begum Jaan ka lihaaf aise hil rahaa thaa jaise usmen haathee band ho. “Begum jaan”, mainne daree hui awaaz nikaalee, haath hilanaa band ho gayaa. Lihaaf niche dab gayaa. “Kyaa hai, so raho,” Begum Jaan ne kahin se awaaz dee. “Dar lag rahaa hai. ” Mainne chuhe ki see awaaz se kahaa. “So jaao. Dar ki kyaa baat hai. Ayatalakursee paṛ lo. ” 

“Achhaa” mainne jaldee-jaldee ayatalakursee paṛhi magar “ya’alamu-maa-baiyanaa” par daffatan aa kar atak gai. Haalaanke mujhe us waqt puree yaad thi. “Tumhaare paas aa jaaun Begum Jaan?” 

“Nahin beti so raho” zaraa sak͟hti se kahaa. Aur phir do admiyon ke khusar-phusar karne ki awaaz sunaai dene lagi. Haay re, dusraa kaun main aur bhi daree. “Begum jaan chor to nahin?” 

“So jaao betaa, kaisaa chora” Rabbo ki awaaz ai. Main jaldee se lihaaf mein munh daal kar so gai. 

Subh mere zaehn mein raat ke k͟haufnaak nazaare ka khayaal bhi na rahaa. Main hameshaa ki wahmee hun. Raat ko darnaa. Uth uth kar bhaagnaa aur baṛbaṛaanaa to bachpan mein roz hi hotaa thaa. Sab to kahte the ki mujh par bhuton ka saayaa ho gayaa hai. Lihaazaa mujhe khayaal bhi na rahaa. Subh ko lihaaf bilkul maasum nazar aa rahaa thaa magar dusree raat meree ankh khulee to Rabbo aur Begum Jaan mein kuchh jhagṛaa baṛee k͟haamoshi se chhapaṛ-khat par hi tay ho rahaa thaa aur mujhe k͟haak samajh na ayaa, aur kyaa faislaa hua. Rabbo hichkiyaan lekar roi phir billee ki tarah chiṛ-chiṛ rikaabee chaatane jaisee awaazen ane lagin. Oh main ghabaraa kar so gai. 

Aaj Rabbo apne bete se milne gai hui thi. Wo baṛaa jhagṛaalu thaa. Bahut kuchh Begum Jaan ne kiyaa. Use dukaan karaai, gaun mein lagaayaa, magar wo kisee tarah maantaa hi na thaa. Nawaab sahib ke yahaan kuchh din rahaa. k͟hub joṛe bhaage bhi bane. Na jaane kyun aisaa bhaagaa ke Rabbo se milne bhi na ataa thaa. Lihaazaa Rabbo hi apne kisee rishtedaar ke yahaan us se milne gai thi. Begum jaan na jaane deti magar Rabbo bhi majbur ho gai. 

Saaraa din Begum Jaan pareshaan rahin. Us ka joṛ-joṛ ṭuṭtaa rahaa. Kisee ka chhunaa bhi unhen na bhaata thaa. Unhonne khaanaa bhi na khaayaa aur saaraa din udaas paṛee rahin. 

“Main khujaa dun?” main ne baṛe shauq se taash ke patte baantte hue kahaa. Begum jaan mujhe ghaaur se dekhne lagin. 

Main thoṛee der khujtee rahi aur Begum Jaan chupkee leti rahin. Dusre din Rabbo ko aana tha magar wo aaj bhi ġaayab thi. Begum jaan ka mizaaj chir chiraa hota gayaa. chai pi pi kar unhonne sar mein dard kar liyaa. 

Main phir khujaane lagi, un ki peeth … chikni mez ki tak͟hti jaisee peeth. Main haule-haule khujaatee rahi. Un ka kaam kar ke kaisee k͟hush hotee thi. 

“Zaraa zor se khujaao band khol do” Begum Jaan boleen. 

“Idhar se … zaraa shaane se niche, haan wahaan bhai waah … haa …. haa,”  wo surur mein thunndee-thunndee saansen lekar itminaan ka izhaar karne lagin. 

“Aur idhar. . . ” haalaanke Begum Jaan ka haath k͟hub jaa saktaa thaa magar wo mujh se hi khujawaa rahi theen aur mujhe ultaa fak͟har ho rahaa thaa, 

“Yahaan, oi tum to gudgudee kartee ho waah. . . ” wo haseen. Main baaten bhi kar rahi thi aur khujaa bhi rahi thi. 

“Tumhen kal baazaar bhejungi, kyaa logi? Wahi sotee jaagatee guṛiyaa. ” 

“Nahin Begum Jaan main to guṛiyaa nahin letee kyaa bachchaa hun ab main.” 

“Bachchaa nahin to kyaa burhi ho gai. . . ” wo haseen, “guṛiyaa nahin to babuwaa lenaa … kapṛe pahanaanaa k͟hud. Main dungi tumhen bahut se kapṛe, sunaa!” unhonne karawat lee. “

“Achaa,” mainne jawaab diyaa. 

“Idhar…” unhonne meraa haath pakaṛ kar jahaan khujlee ho rahi thi, rakh diyaa. Jahaan unhen khujlee maalum hotee wahaan rakh detee aur main be-khayaalee mein babuwe ke dhyaan mein dubee mashin ki tarah khujaatee rahi aur wo mutawaatir baaten kartee rahin. 

“Suno to tumhaaree firaaqen kam ho gai hain. Kal darzi ko de dungi ki nai see laae. Tumhaaree ammaa kapṛe de gai hain.” 

“Wo laal kapṛe ki nahin banwaaungi, chamaaron jaisee hai. ” Main bakwaas kar rahi thi aur meraa haath na jaane kahaan se kahaan pahunchaa. Baaton-baaton mein mujhe maalum bhi na hua. Begum jaan to chiṭ leti theen.

“Are … “ mainne jaldee se haath kheench liyaa.

“Oi laṛkee dekh kar nahin khujaatee, meree pasliyaan noche daalatee hai. ” Begum Jaan sharaarat se muskaraain aur main jheenp gai. 

“Idhar aa kar mere paas let jaa” unhonne mujhe baazau par sar rakh kar litaa liyaa. 

“Ai he kitni sukh rahi hai. Pasliyaan nikal rahi hain. ” Unhonne pasliyaan ginnaa shuru kar deen. 

“Un…” main minminaai. 

“Oi to kyaa main khaa jaaungi kaisaa tung sweater bana hai!” 

“Garam buniyaan bhi nahin pahanaa tumne” main kulbulaane lagi. 

“Kitni pasliyaan hotee hain?” unhonne baat badlee. 

“Ek taraf nau aur ek taraf das” mainne school mein yaad ki hui haai jeen ki madad lee. Wo bhi utpataang. 

“Hataa lo haath … haan ek … do … teen.” 

Meraa dil chaahaa kis tarah bhaagun aur unhonne zor se bhinchaa. 

“Un” main machal gai, Begum Jaan zor-zor se hasne lagin. Ab bhi jab kabhi main un ka us waqt ka chehraa yaad kartee hun to dil ghabraane lagtaa hai. Un ki ankhon ke papote aur wazni ho gae. Upar ke hont par siyaahi ghiree hui thi. Baawajud sardee ke paseene ki nanhi-nanhi bunden honton par aur naak par chamak rahi theen. Un ke haath thunnde yak͟h the. Magar narm jaise un par khaal utar gai ho. Unhonne shaal utaar dee aur kaarage ke mahin kurte mein un ka jism ate ki loni ki tarah chamak rahaa thaa. Bhaaree jaṛaau sone ke button girebaan ki ek taraf jhul rahe the. Shaam ho gai thi aur kamre mein andheraa ghup ho rahaa thaa. Mujhe ek na maalum dar se wahshat see hone lagi. Begum jaan ki gehree-gehree ankhen. Main rone lagi dil mein. Wo mujhe ek miṭi ke khilaune ki tarah bhinch rahi theen. Un ke garm-garm jism se meraa dil haulaane lagaa magar un par to jaise bhutanaa sawaar thaa aur mere dimaagh ka ye haal ki na cheek͟haa jaae aur na rah sakun. 

Thoṛee der ke baad wo past ho kar nidhaal let gain. Un ka chehraa pheekaa aur badraunaq ho gayaa aur lumbee-lumbee saansein lene lagin. Main samjhi ki ab mareen ye, aur wahaan se uth kar sarpat bhaagi baahir. 

Shukr hai ki Rabbo raat ko aa gai aur main daree hui jaldee se lihaaf or kar so gai Magar nind kahaan. Chup gheṅton paṛee rahi. 

Ammaa kisee tarah aa hi nahin chukee theen. Begum jaan se mujhe aisaa dar lagtaa thaa ki main saaraa din maamaaon ke paas baithi rahi, magar un ke kamre mein qadam rakhte hi dam nikaltaa thaa aur kahatee kis se aur kahatee hi kyaa ki Begum Jaan se dar lagtaa hai. Begum Jaan jo mere upar jaan chhiṛaktee theen. 

Aaj Rabbo mein aur Begum Jaan mein phir an ban ho gai. Meree qismat ki k͟haraabee kahie ya kuchh aur, mujhe un donon ki an ban se dar lagaa. Kyunke raat hi Begum Jaan ko khayaal ayaa ki main baahar sardee mein ghum rahi hun aur marungi pneumonia mein. 

“Laṛkee kyaa meraa sar mundwaaegi. Jo kuchh ho huwaa gayaa, to aur aafat aegi. ” Unhonne mujhe paas bithaa liyaa. Wo k͟hud munh-haath silfachee mein dho rahi theen, chai tipaai par rakhee thi.

“Chai to banaao …  ek pyaalee mujhe bhi denaa” wo tauliye se munh k͟hushk kar ke boleen, “zaraa kapṛe badal lun.” 

Wo kapṛe badaltee rahin aur main chai peetee rahi. Begum Jaan naain se peeth malwaate waqt agar mujhe kisee kaam se bulwaateen, to main gardan moṛe jaatee aur waapas bhaag aatee. Ab jo unhonne kapṛe badle, to mera dil ulatne lagaa. Munh moṛe main chai peetee rahi. 

“Haay Ammaa. . . ” mere dil ne bekasi se pukaaraa, “ak͟hir aisaa mein bhaaiyon se kyaa laṛtee hun jo tum meree museebat … ” 

Amaan ko hameshaa se meraa laṛkon ke saath khelnaa naapasand hai. Kaho bhalaa laṛke kyaa sher-cheete hain jo nigal jaaenge un ki laadlee ko, aur laṛke bhi kaun? k͟hud bhaai aur do chaar saṛe saṛaae. Un zaraa-zaraa se un ke dost magar nahin, wo to aurat zaat ko saat taalon mein rakhne ki qaail aur yahaan Begum Jaan ki wo dahsht ki duniyaa bhar ke ġundon se nahin. Bas chaltaa, to us waqt saṛak par bhaag jaatee, phir wahaan na tiktee magar laachaar thi. Majbur kaleje par patthar rakhe baithi rahi. 

Kapṛe badal kar sola singhaar hue aur garam-garam k͟hushbuon ke atar ne aur bhi unhen angaaraa banaa diyaa aur wo chaleen mujh par laad utaarne. 

“Ghar jaaungi” mainne un ki har raay ke jawaab mein kahaa aur rone lagi. 

“Mere paas to aao main tumhen baazaar le chalungi … suno to. ” 

Magar main kali ki tarah phisal gai. Saare khilaune, miṭhaaiyaan ek taraf aur ghar jaane ki rat ek taraf. 

“Wahaan bhayyaa maarenge chuṛail” unhonne pyaar se mujhe thappaṛ lagaayaa. Paṛen maaren bhayyaa, mainne sochaa aur ruthi akaṛee baithi rahi.

“Kachee amiyaan khatti hotee hain Begum Jaan-” jalee kati Rabbo ne raay dee aur phir us ke baad Begum Jaan ko dauraa paṛ gayaa. Sone ka haar jo wo thoṛee der pehle mujhe pahnaa rahi theen, tukṛe-tukṛe ho gayaa. Mahin jaalee ka dupaṭaa taar-taar aur wo maang jo mainne kabhi bigṛee na dekhee thi, jhaaṛ-jhumkaaṛ ho gai. 

“Oh oh oh oha” wo jhatke le lekar chillaane lagin. Main rapti baahar. Baṛe jatnon se Begum Jaan ko hosh ayaa. Jab main sone ke liye kamre mein dabe pair jaa kar jhaankee, to Rabbo un ki kamar se lagi jism dabaa rahi thi. 

“Jutee utaar do” usne us ki pasliyaan khujaate hue kahaa aur main chuhiyaa ki tarah lihaaf mein dubak gai. Sar sar phat kar Begum Jaan ka lihaaf andhere mein phir haathee ki tarah jhum rahaa thaa. 

“Allah … aan” mainne maree hui awaaz nikaalee. Lihaaf mein haathee phudkaa aur baith gayaa. Main bhi chup ho gai. Haathee ne phir lut machaai. Meraa rowaan-rowaan kaanpaa. Aj mainne dil mein thaan liyaa ki zarur himmat kar ke sirhaane lagaa hua bulb jalaa dun. Haath phaṛ phaṛaa rahaa thaa aur jaise ukaṛun baithne ki koshish kar rahaa thaa. Chapaṛ-chapaṛ kuchh khaane ki awaaz aa rahi theen. Jaise koi mazedaar chatni chakh rahaa ho. Ab main samjhi! Ye Begum Jaan ne aaj kuchh nahin khaayaa aur Rabbo mardi to hai sadaa ki chatto. Zarur ye tar maal uṛaa rahi hai. Mainne nathune phulaa kar sun-sun hawaa ko sunghaa. Siwaae itr-e-sandal aur hinaa ki garam-garam k͟hushbu ke aur kuchh mahsus na hua. 

Lihaaf phir umumdanaa shuru hua. Mainne bahteraa chaahaa ki chupki paṛee rahun. Magar us lihaaf ne to aisee ajeeb-ajeeb shaklein banaani shuru keen ki main dar gai. Maalum hotaa thaa gun-gun kar ke koi baṛaa saa mendak phul rahaa hai aur ab uchhal kar mere upar ayaa. 

“An. . . ammaa. . . ” main himmat kar ke gungunaai. Magar wahaan kuchh sunwaai na hui aur lihaaf mere dimaagh mein ghus kar phulnaa shuru hua, mainne darte-darte palang ke dusree taraf pair utaare aur tatol-tatol kar bijlee ka button dabaayaa. Haathee ne lihaaf ke niche ek qalaabaazi lagaai aur pichak gayaa. Qalaabaazi lagaane mein lihaaf ka konaa fut bhar uthaa. 

Allah! Main ghaṛaap se apne bichhaune mein…